The concept of home is a funny thing, and in recently leaving one, returning to an another one, and now housesitting in a temporary one, it’s a topic that has been playing on my mind of late. I’m not seeking a resolution or epiphany with this post as such… just letting my thoughts free flow…
“Home is there the heart is” … that’s what my Mum has always said, and growing up, that made a lot of sense to me. Our family home was full of heart. But since finding my own independence in a turbulent and changing world, I find my heart is split many ways: in people, in faraway places, experiences, the past, in future hopes and maybes. So where does that leave my home exactly?
While I feel like i’ve lost that stable, enduring ‘four walls’ type of home for the time being, I feel like instead, I am noticing and taking comfort in my many other homes. My homes are safe spaces in which I come back to after busy days interacting in a daunting world. My homes are places where I wear no masks; places I can take time out from responsbility. My homes are spaces I either store possessions, as visual references for past experiences, or places within which I have created memories.
My parent’s house is still a home. My favourite cafes are also my homes. Japan, Sydney, Uni. My friends are my homes (‘homies’?) My journal is my home.
Dear Fifteen Rosemont,
It’s early in the morning of the day I will leave you. It’s raining as I write… how poetic, poignant, perfect. As pen tracks the paper, my hand feels wise; incomparable to the girl who naively strode through your canary yellow door, August 15 2008.
Mementos are boxed but sixteen months of lived memories dance; they will live on. You have beautifully impacted my world, and while I will miss your creaky floorboards, jasmine lattice and high ceilings, I know my need for you has been fulfilled; saturated. There’s nothing left for me here.
Now, change beckons. Ever the girl with a thousand plans and goals and convictions, this time I find myself adrift on an ocean of opportunities, maybes, vivid uncertainty. Shadows, spinning somersaults, sunrise dawning, I sign off from this changing, unforgettable chapter, and send my call out to the universe… what’s next?
Find me a new home, new experiences, new connections, new loves… new purpose.
This new journey awaits, and i’m your open book.
I am ready.
… Must come down?
I am sitting cross legged surrounded by boxes, string, paper bags and other various clutter, the remnants of Chrysalis, my first solo exhibition, all packed up.
I’m also surrounded by an aura of calm, mixed with a little relief. Mostly, I feel inspired and humbled by the beautiful people I have connected with over the last three days of exhibiting, stirring emotions… confronting and hopefully comforting too.
Not sure if i’m ready to come back to earth quite yet.
Let’s defy the laws of Physics… come fly with me x