From my tiny little writing desk in Montpellier, I tap away on my keyboard, allowing the words to spill out and make their own sentences freely, whatever they may reveal.

It is late afternoon on Sunday, and the cool dark of night is creeping through the air, even though it is just after five. I am burning a candle from my favourite florist au nom de la rose, the sky outside my window is a dark, thick grey. The outside light is gloomy and dull, but the candle beside me illuminates my workspace, glowing its soft but strong warmth.

Pictures, photos, words and memories blue-tacked on the wall above my laptop screen dance and flicker between light and shade while the candle’s playfully throws its light about. I’m back in my beautiful little sanctuary, my home away from home… finally.

Gosh there is something so comforting about jumpers, leggings, slouchy socks, slippers, unbrushed hair and a makeup-less face, endless cups of tea and vegemite toast, a whole day with the camera switched off and no sightseeing to tick off the list or people to talk to or things to remember and be inspired by. As amazing as that all was, and is, today, this little spot in the world, quiet and still, is my happy place.

My limbs feel heavy and weary, my eyes are glassy and overworked from taking in so much beauty over the past weeks, my heart is a little twisted and out of sorts from so much emotion and such big days of adventure, but my fingers, they are so very eager to tap tap tap away and pour out these words; to tell you the story of my recent adventures. There is so much to say.

I’m looking at my calendar pinned to the curtain…November already? My days in Europe are numbered. I have now got just three short weeks left in Montpellier before a travel finale in Italy, then back to Australia.

Two weeks ago I couldn’t begin to imagine getting on that plane and going back home, but now, I think about home and feel nostalgic, I miss it, I miss everyone I love and i’m kind of almost feeling ready. As much as I love this side of the world, there’s something about home that is irreplaceable.

So, where have I been? I have just returned from sixteen nights in Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam with a certain beautiful man/best friend in my life, Tim. And before that was a couple of weeks in the UK, namely London and Edinburgh with my dear friend Becca. I’ve snapped hundreds upon hundreds of photos and I have soaked up so many enchanting moments and experiences… many of which I will share in the coming posts. Now that I have my writing desk back, and some spare time, that is.

But for now, all my love, and umm… aren’t these flowers breathtaking?

They were a special gift from beautiful above-mentioned man amid our travelling adventure. I can’t tell you how many times I have wandered past this florist over the past months and wished for a bunch. A whole, dreamy bunch, just for me! I’ve never received anything so beautiful.

I’ve kept some dry buds to treasure and they’re scattered on my nightstand.

xx

Oh Melbourne, how I love you.

I have just hung out the washing and unpacked the last bits of my suitcase, reminiscing over a fairytale week and feeling just a wee bit glum at the thought of returning to reality tomorrow morning.

But wow, what a week it was: Early morning coffees and french toast on Degraves street, getting lost in the bustling, teeny tiny city alleyways, a spectacular night ride up 88 floors to the Eureka Skydeck, dining in style at the exquisite Bistro Vue, bookshops, shopping, exhibitions (Tim Burton at ACMI, and a little bit of Monet, Picasso and Van Gogh at the NGV’s European Masters exhibit), and finally, a touch of luxury with an extravagant last night at the Langham hotel. To be honest, I was just as enamoured by the foiled and lined Langham envelopes as I was by the hotel foyer’s waterfall and marshmallow pillows… a telling sign of a tragic stationery addict.

But the week wasn’t all about opulence and holidaying, it was also a hugely important week Australia wide, as we recognised National BIEDAW (Body Image Eating Disorders Awareness Week). I was thrilled to immerse myself in a number of events during the week with The Butterfly Foundation.

THE BODY OF ART EXHIBITION

On Tuesday night was a special event organised by The Butterfly Foundation and fashion label Violet & I, from Melbourne-based designer Anna Linklater. As the winner of a design competition they ran a few months back, one of my artworks has been printed onto notebooks, which are given as free gifts with purchases of the Panacheya Camisole from Violet & I’s Spring/Summer 2011 range. I put on my guest speaking hat and had a lovely night chatting to other Melbourne based artists and the Butterfly community. Thank you Tor Designs for snapping some beautiful shots of the exhibition atmosphere.

{The gorgeous Port Melbourne exhibition space, Mars Gallery}

{My winning artwork, Violet & I camisole and Cocktails}
{photos above courtesy of Tor Designs}

{Speech time, and speech from The Butterfly Foundation CEO Christine Morgan}

{Myself and Anna Linklater of Violet & I}
{Photos above courtesy of Julie Parker}

THE CHRYSALIS BALL

On Friday night, I volunteered at the annual Butterfly Foundation Ball (newly renamed the ‘Chrysalis ball’… yes, ironically the same name as my own exhibition) The highlight was definitely getting the chance to reunite with founder Claire Vickery, who is the incredible visionary woman behind Butterfly! I first contacted Claire back in 2006 when I was in Year 12, and over a coffee together at the Adelaide art gallery cafe I shared my dream to do creative work with Butterfly in the future. I was pretty stoked that Claire remembered me all these years later, and suddenly that dream of mine feels a little closer. Friday was an incredible night and it was so wonderful to see the passionate and progressive work that The Butterfly Foundation do.

BEAUTIFUL YOU HIGH TEA

On Saturday afternoon, I hopped on a train to Highett and found myself surrounded by cupcakes, pink champagne and cucumber sandwiches, at a gorgeous event organised by counsellor and amazing Beautiful You blogger Julie Parker. I was also interviewed by Julie, Oprah-style in front of the high tea guests, having the opportunity to talk about the work I do in Adelaide and the Chrysalis book.

Phew. All in all, it was one hell of a week.

But with all of this Melbourne gallivanting and speaking and awareness creating, I could not neglect my own town of Adelaide and continued mission to create awareness in South Australia. I am thrilled to announce the Chrysalis exhibition has just been installed at the Women’s & Children’s Hospital of Adelaide. Arranged through the Arts in Health team at the Women’s & Children’s Hospital Foundation, the exhibition will be up for the months of September and October. This Wednesday afternoon, the exhibition will be officially opened by Gail Mondy, Chief Executive Officer of Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service.

If you’d like to come along, please shoot me an rsvp and i’ll add you to the list. There’ll be special people and yummy treats!

Well, it’s definitely time to go iron some clothes and fold some undies, so i’d better leave it there.

Goodnight x

{From a recent speech, on my relationship with Mum}

I absolutely love my Mum to bits, and standing here now, I feel very lucky to have the relationship we share today. It is one of resilience, trust and unconditional love. But our relationship hasn’t always been this way – particularly throughout my eating disorder, and to an extent during the years since.

My eating disorder formed an impenetrable barrier between our loves for each other. Mum, being the heartbeat of our home, could not accept this unwanted guest in our home, and I could not conceive living my life without it. The intensity of emotions I wrestled with were too horrific to verbalise, and because I could not let her into my world, I completely shut her out. My eating disorder became all-consuming; so perhaps there was just too much love that, simply, it could no longer fit when the eating disorder was in residence. One of the Chrysalis artworks ‘Sanctuary’ directly reflects on how disconnected we became.

We have shared a dynamic and constantly changing relationship since my recovery. Coming out of such an ambiguous reality, the real world was a daunting place, and I was pretty set on finding my own feet. When I consider the caliber of strain those six years put on our relationship, I suppose it is not surprising that there was a lot of healing that needed to take place between Mum and I… and re-strengthening those bonds was going to take some time.

I think it is only this year that I have really started to find an appreciation, unfathomable respect and gratitude for my Mum. It’s funny – up until recently, I felt scared to share a lot of myself with her, and I’m probably not alone in being the girl who could ‘never tell her mother that’. Perhaps I just needed to take that chance, because by taking the leap and sharing a little more of my heart with her, I feel we have discovered a new depth and strength to our relationship.

Mum, every day I feel more and more like your friend. Sometimes I still see the caution and fear in your eyes as I embark on another crazy creative project or throw myself into something challenging (and probably well beyond my means), but now I trust in the trust that you have in me to look after myself, and the freedom you allow me to dream, explore, seek and grow.

Happy Mothers Day Mum, I love you very much x.